Porn is love you can see.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
