Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
