what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
