I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
