i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
