I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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