What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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