Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
