I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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