Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it glows. i had to have it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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