he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
