So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
