Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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