she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize