return my video game
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
