If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
