I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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