I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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