remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
