id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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