dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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