she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
