We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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