So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
