EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
