even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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