Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
