Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize