Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got inside last night via doggy door
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
