I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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