We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
