Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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