Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
