Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
