I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
