at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
