he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
