Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
