were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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