Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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