I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
