I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
These tits shall not be calmed
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