Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
