census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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