I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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