I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
