So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
