anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize