check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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