You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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