I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
