The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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