these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
