And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
