Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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