youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
