Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
