she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
