I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
my poor anus
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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