those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
