I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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